Saturday, April 6, 2013

Weary

      My fingers have been itching to write lately, but haven't been able to quite catch up to my crazy, caffeine-buzzing mind. I've drunk more coffee in the past three months than a person should be allowed in a lifetime. I attribute it to the fact that I have been living in two places at once, essentially living two separate lives between work and school. The song of this season of my life is "Worn" by Tenth Avenue North. It begins "I'm tired, I'm worn, my heart is heavy, from the work it takes to keep on breathing." Maybe a little pathetic, but I believe in being honest about the struggles of my life, and that is honestly how I feel right now. Every day is a struggle, and I am simply worn out. 
     Weary is the word that keeps coming to mind to describe the way I feel as of late. Dictionary.com defines weary as: "physically or mentally exhausted by hard work, exertion, strain, etc.; fatigued; tired." My second favorite definition is the following: "characterized by or causing impatience or dissatisfaction." That is how I feel right now. Exhausted, impatient, dissatisfied. Dissatisfied with the way I've been coping with the hard circumstances, impatient with myself for not always knowing which direction I should be headed. 
      I am feeling especially weary today, in the middle of a three-day stretch at work. This morning I opened up my Bible to the book of John, seeking the Lord for peace and encouragement for my weary soul. As I was reading chapter 4, one of my favorite chapters in the entire Bible, verse 6 jumped out at me like never before: "Jacob's well was there; so Jesus, wearied as he was from his journey, was sitting beside the well." Jesus, wearied. I realized that as I am crying out to God out of desperation, I not crying out to a God who has no clue how I am feeling. Jesus knows what it is to be weary, to be tired, to be worn out. In my weariness today, I am comforted by my God who not only listens, but understands the weariness of my soul and wants to give me rest. 

1 comment:

  1. He always meets us where we're at....He is faithful.

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