Thursday, September 15, 2011

Today it feels like fall!  My window is still open a crack even though it's chilly outside, only so I get to snuggle under my comforter :)  This week has been one of impatience and frustration on my part, due to the fact that I'm back to not knowing what to do with myself on my days off.  Since I work weekends now, that leaves the entire week open - days that normal people don't have off.  The ever-present question is: "what am I to do with all this time?!"  Yesterday morning was spent unpacking and organizing my room, which included putting up all of my picture frames.  Next week I will begin working on painting my furniture.  That will take a lot of time, so hopefully next week I will feel less bored! 

I've discovered that the majority of my frustration on my days off stems from the feeling of unproductivity (new word) and the feeling that I'm not doing anything that matters.  I constantly struggle with discontentment, rushing from one minute to the next hoping that life will get more exciting.  The whisper of my precious Jesus continues to find its way into my heart amidst the chaos: "Be still."  Finally, after years of fighting stillness for fear of becoming lazy, I have chosen to explore and accept the rest and peace of the Lord.  He is teaching me to be patient and to not look to the next minute but to instead find joy in simply living in the moment.  My identity and worth does not come from how much I accomplish in a day or how many things are on my calendar.  My identity is found in Him, an identity only fully developed when I truly seek Him with all of my being.  Matthew 6:33 has always been one of my favorite verses: "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."  All of the answers to all of the questions in life may be found by simply seeking the One who has the answers.  So I choose to seek Him, to be still, and to find joy in the simplicity of being His treasure.  

Tonight is the Greek festival in downtown Tulsa.  I'm so excited!  I went with my parents last year and it was one of the highlights of my fall.  I'm very much looking forward to the food! Yum, yum, yum!  We're going with some friends who live downtown, so we'll park at their apartment and walk to the Greek Orthodox church where the festival is held.  We're going in time for the dancing this year, which should be an interesting adventure.  The thought of Mom and Dad Greek dancing (whatever that looks like) just makes me smile.  I can't wait! 

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